Goals

There is an IG account I follow that focuses on self-care and maintaining a healthy relationship with food, your self and others - Danikabrysha is her IG handle. Anyway - she posted something the other day that stuck with me - the essence being if something does not serve you mentally, physically or spiritually - it's time to let it go. I have done a LOT of reflection on this and what this means to me. This has resulted in me purging a lot of things in my life (or planning to)  and lots of inner reflection on why certain habits, relationships, possessions or "things" I want or have are so important to me and - do they really serve my true needs and self goals. And what are my actual goals in all those areas anyway? Lots of thinking going on here :)

Anyway - my mind is swirling with all this in tandem with a time in our life where a lot of craziness/change will be coming up for us (more on that to come) - but we have been celebrating a bit more than usual lately. I really want to rein this in but, I tend to get caught up in the moment and fun. I want to be more mindful and present in the moment. So in effort to do so I reflected this weekend on my health goals and decided to try setting  a few goals each week and share them out here for accountability (mainly to myself as it is in black and white). Nothing crazy but - I feel like having 3 goals each week that pivot around a my health in an effort to be more grounded, focused and present... is a positive movement towards a healthier me.

This week's goals.....

#1 - More Movement! I want to try and hit 10K steps a day. I accomplished this on Saturday by walking the dogs, elliptical and just moving more in general. I also was reminded after my workout Saturday that positive endorphins from cardio is a real thing for me. I get such a boost of happiness and positive vibes post-workout - and it reduces my anxiety level - which has been higher than usual lately. Exercise truly is the best therapy for me.

#2 - Water! Up the H20. I have been researching and doing Ashley Math (not always reliable ha)- and by my calculations I should be drinking around 90 oz of water a day. I would say I typically drink 1/2 that so.... time to up the dosage! Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate - plus it's good to help clear up my skin so there's that too.

#3 - Limit the Booze! - after tonight (meeting up with a girlfriend for dinner/drinks) - no booze until Friday and, limit to 2 drinks when partaking. This is one of my biggest challenges as I love my vino - as this is much discussed on here--  I. Can. Do. This.

Starting out simple and hoping to build on these - wish me luck, especially with the wine part :)

Whole30 Heart 💗

Five months! Five months since my last post. I have thought about updating here or there but for whatever reason - that has not happened. I have just started a new round of Whole30 and realized as I was trying to look back and see what I cooked/ate on the last round - without documentation via blog posts - really makes it a royal pain in the ass! So - I am going to try and update here more often - at least while I do this Whole30 round so that future rounds are a bit easier.

First some awesome news - I have been a-fib free for just over 1 year and.... as of Friday, I am 100% off my heart medication! This is very monumental for me as the past year and a half has been filled with more EKGs that I can count, cardioversions (where they shock your heart into rhythm - yikes), a catheter cardiac ablation (game changer for me), hospital visit, wearing a heart rate monitor (those modules burn the fuck out of your skin btw), and the worst part in my opinion .... medication. LOTS of medication. I actually have an old lady pill box with an AM and a PM side to make sure I would remember to take all my shit. UGH. Pretty sexy to keep that on your nightstand. That is going in the trashcan today!

Of all the meds I was on - the beta blocker was the worst. It made me feel so tired and just weird all the time. I had zero energy, difficulty concentrating and forget about attempting to maintain a healthy weight. I packed on about 15 lbs since being on them. I know not everyone experiences this but - I did for sure. Now, not sure if it is the beta blocker itself or - lack of energy, frustration with my situation or my love for wine & cheese or... all that wrapped up into one perfect storm but.... happy happy happy to say I am off the meds! I am already feeling better which I am sure is psychosomatic but yesterday - I was walking Charlie in the park and was able to run sprints with him - which is something I have not had the energy or even the inclination to do for quite some time. It felt so good to run fast again or - even just run again. So... YAY ME!

Enter another round of Whole30.

So... no grains, no dairy, no sugar of any kind (agave nectar & honey, I am looking at you), no artificial chemicals/additives (bye bye sugarless gum), no pasta/bread and here is the worst part - NO ALCOHOL. Whole30 sounds terrible when you start out by thinking of all the things you cannot have. But - if you look at it as a focus on whole, fresh, natural foods - so lots of protein, fresh veggies & fruit - and attempting to eliminate as much junk from your body for 30 days - it is much more doable. It really helps me to see my relationship with what I consume and the why behind it.

I am on day 5 and I am finding it very similar to my past round - I do not miss the carbs, or cheese, or cupcakes (that will probably all hit next week). I do not mind all the food prep and planning... or all the slicing, dicing and chopping of veggies. It is the lack of vino that is my biggest pain point. I miss my damn wine! I was using it as an all occasion salve....

Celebrating a special occasion? Wine!

Feeling sad about how tight my jeans are? Wine!

Girls night out? Wine!

Gee I want to work out but... Wine!

Shitty day at work - Wine!

Productive day at work - Wine!

YAY it's Friday - Wine!

Shit, it's only Tuesday - Wine!

This really does help me to reflect on how much of the nectar of the gods (aka Pinot Grigio) I was consuming and how much of a crutch it had become. Five days in I am realizing I need more kombucha on the regular in my life and less vino. As of now - I have no plans of quitting the vino for good but - definitely need to practice more moderation for sure.

So... since I will be sober for the next 25 days... I anticipate more posts on my Whole30 journey. "The devil will find work for idle hands to do" - I cite this phrase to Morrissey (gotta get my Smiths reference in here), but it could be Chaucer or a bible verse who knows.... translation here is - expect more blog posts on my food for completely selfish, self-cataloguing, and distracting entertainment purposes only.  It feels good to be back!

Finally!

I finally found a meeting that I LIKE! I have decided this time around - I am going to attend WW meetings - yes online and weighing at home is more convenient but... for accountability purposes, the in-person meetings are where it's at for me. Plus - I really do enjoy interacting and meeting new people so, this just makes sense for me. I can take an hour out of my week to do something therapeutic, positive and healthy for myself.

I have skipped around to a few meetings trying to find one that fits my personality. The ones I attended during the week mid-day were full of grouchy ass retired folks...not my scene. The meeting I attended Saturday morning was awesome - many more people around my age, a few girls that were working and talked about the struggles of balancing a stressful corporate job with healthy eating (uh yes!), two younger girls in college that joined together, a few life-timers that had a lot of wisdom to share, etc. The leader had so much energy but, seemed very down to earth - I loved it! So I will be weighing in on Saturday mornings going forward.

AND - the best part about the meeting Saturday - the scale finally gave in to me. My body has been hanging on for dear life to every ounce since I started this in early January. It is very frustrating when you are doing everything right.... tracking, eating all the veggies and fruit, drinking all the water, working out, etc...and you lose .6 lbs. VERY FRUSTRATING. But, I knew my body had to eventually give in if I kept doing the right things. And it finally did! I am down 7 lbs for the month of January and I couldn't be happier!

WW does little milestone charms now and I earned my first one Saturday - lost my first 5 lbs :) I was so freaking happy!

I am using this as my visual so I can focus on monthly losses versus weekly losses. It helps me to focus on my long term goals and not the short term frustrations. And.... it's cute. I am excited as to where I will be in a few months!

 I am loving the new Freestyle Plan and I think it is largely due to the fact that I love to cook and spend a LOT of time in the kitchen normally. Every Sunday, my husband and I meal prep and this really helps me to get a structured plan in place for breakfast and lunch for 4 days of the work week. I find most of my recipes on Pinterest and skinnytaste.

This was an awesome Quinoa Chickpea Greek Salad... was awesome next to some baked Greek Chicken.

This is my favorite recipe I have discovered recently - Kale & Bacon Frittata. Basically crisp up 2 slices of bacon in a pan, sauce shallots & kale in the bacon drippings, transfer to dish, add 4 eggs and 4 egg whites, feta cheese and salt/pepper to taste. Bake about 38 mins on 350. This is 2 WW points - and a perfect healthy breakfast that keeps me full till lunch. And I love all the kale in this!

Fridays at work - we have stirfry in our cafe at my office building. Get it... Stir-Friday. Ha.

Anyway - it is easy to go crazy as they have awesome basmati rice & noodles and the awesome cafe lady makes the most delicious crab rangoon - and all that shit adds up to lots of calories. This Friday - I resisted temptation and stuck to protein and veggies and just did a little sesame oil, sriracha & soy sauce - it was awesome and I did not miss all the extra fluff. I was proud of myself for making a better choice and being happy with it.

This is my lunch this week....I like to take pics like this while I cook because I am an Instagram dork.

I know food pics annoy some people but - I really don't care - I love food pics! My instagram feed is a steady stream of food pics & puppies :) Anyway - lunch this week is Chicken Marsala Meatballs.... I added zuchini noodles to bulk up the meal. Really awesome recipe from skinnytaste.

That's about it for now - my goal this week is to get more water in and get 3-4 workouts in (already got 1 in today at lunch). And to continue to track and stay the course :)  Feels so good to be back on plan and blogging again. Cheers!

Seven month breakup...

Wow. Exactly 7 months to the day since my last post. I decided to take a break from blogging and have realized - I miss it. Something about processing my thoughts and putting them out here in the universe is helpful. So here I am again.

The past year hasn't been the most stellar year in regards to my health - about a year ago is when I was diagnosed with A-fib and then a slew of medications, heart procedures, EKGs, cardiologist appointments, etc. I am down to only 1 heart pill a day (YAY!) which is a huge improvement. And I am hopeful that at my next follow up in June, I will be off everything. I have a lot of work to do between now and then though because.....

I have used the past year as a huge excuse to feel sorry for myself. To stop running regularly. To eat pretty much whatever I wanted. To drink ALL the wine...and I do mean all of it.

So stupid as you would think a-fib would have been a wake up call & made me want to get super healthy! But.... the side effects of the meds were not pleasant & became a major obstacle for me. I felt sluggish, irritable, bloated, depressed and just angry that this was happening at 42.  Anyway... all of that combined with normal work, family & life stress just equated to a year of excess. Coping in all the wrong ways.

So - new year, new me bullshit - I joined Weight Watchers again in January to get a grip....start tracking my food intake, focus on healthy eating & get my ass up and moving. It is so interesting to me to see diet trends now of super high protein, high fat, no carb, no sugar, etc but.... none of that really works for me. Hey if it works for you - you do you boo but -  I need a plan that is realistic and sustainable. I will never give up wine 100%, I will always want to have a cupcake here or there, no sorry cauliflower is NOT pizza crust and damn - tacos are life. So...weight watchers works for me.

That being said - my first couple of week have been challenging. I have really stayed the course and have been tracking all my food, eating lots of veggies & lean protein and exercising. I am not back to running yet... mainly as it has been subzero temperatures until yesterday but... I have been on the elliptical. I know I need to incorporate weights again so - did that yesterday. Yes,  it hurts to move my arms today. All of this is good but... progress on the scale has been SLOW. Like painfully slow. Like - I've lost 2 lbs slow. Ugh.

Very frustrating and I am making every effort to not compare my journey now to my 20's or early 30's when I could  eat turkey sandwiches for a week and lose 8 lbs. I know this will take time, consistency and perseverance. And I just need to have patience with the process...and myself.

I am going to blog more as I think putting this shit out here helps me to stay motivated and accountable. And I really do miss it.... feels good to be writing again :) More to come as I am going to make it a habit to blog here often. Wish me luck on my journey.... it is always appreciated :)