Stress Test - heart update!

So the good news is that my heart is healthy....the bad news is that I am back in A-fib again :( 

This means that although the cardioversion did work temporarily, my heart has gone back to beating irregularly on it's own. Again. Joy.

I had a nuclear stress test done on Monday which is where they hook me up to wires and electrodes and do an EKG while I am at rest and while I am on the treadmill walking and then walking FAST. Oh and they inject something (gee i should probably know what this IS) into my IV while I am on the treadmill and tell me to go as fast as I can for 3 minutes. And wow.... those 3 minutes sucked. My heart rate got up to 227 - yikes! I have not been exercising or running at all since my knee injury and, since my Afib I have not been active at all. It was so frustrating to me to think that 6 months ago I was running 6, 7, 8 miles and feeling awesome. Now.... 3 minutes, not 3 miles, and I am ready to die. Poor choice of words :)

After the treadmill, I got to lay down for about an hour while they took photos of my heart to see how the exercise - aka stress - impacted it. That was the best part ever. The nurses said I may feel claustrophobic from the machine used to take the photos but honestly, I was so damn tired I just shut my eyes and slept.

So this whole process took about 4 hours - I then promptly came home and slept on the couch after eating 2 huge ass bowls of golden grahams and a brownie. Stress test = stress eating.

Great news though - my cardiologist called me yesterday and let me know that the stress test results were very good. My heart is healthy and normal, no blockages or other bad things. They just cannot figure out why - since all my other blood work checks out - this a-fib is happening to me. And they may never figure out why.

So.... from this point, I will continue to take meds to see if they can control it - I am currently on 3 meds for this that I take 2x per day. I told my husband I need a pill box to keep up. Here is what my morning meds are looking like these days....

there is a sprinkling of vitamin c, multi vitamins, probiotics, synthroid, etc in there but DAMN.... that is way too many pills.

I told my cardiologist from the beginning of this ordeal that I want to avoid having to take any serious meds unless this is the absolute last resort. I don't want to have to deal with nasty side-effects and it just seems weird to have to take 6 pills a day for my heart at 41. And what are the long term effects of taking medication for the next 40 years?? 

Plus - I don't think the meds are working as I am still getting winded, feeling dizzy and have an elevated heart rate just walking from my car into my office and up 2 flights of stairs everyday. I guess I should take the elevator but...I am stubborn. 

Wow I am starting to sound like the grumpy ass old men that were there for stress tests the same day as me. These guys were bitching and complaining all morning. I had to laugh.

So - what is next? I have a follow up with my cardiologist in 2 weeks. I feel confident that he is going to recommend a cardiac ablation where they use a catheter to go through a vein and to my heart. The catheter has some type of electrode that creates heat and destroys the heart tissue that is causing the a-fib. This sounds so complicated and scary but - it is actually a very safe and minimally invasive procedure. I will only have to be in the hospital a day and will likely only need a week of downtime to fully recover. And that is mainly due to the catheter, not my heart.

I am not 100% this is what the doctor will recommend but, he has mentioned the procedure to me and wanted me to research it and - given my frustration and lack of responsiveness to the current meds - I am thinking this is the next best option.

Honestly, I am feeling frustrated and just wanting to get back to feeling normal. I want to run and exercise again. But - trying to keep perspective and not whine and feel sorry for myself - it could be so much worse!

I will continue to update on here as it is easier to direct everyone here for updates versus having the same text/convo 10 times. Although i am very appreciative of everyone that is checking up on me - thank you XO! Maybe I will start to blog about more light hearted topics again. Ha - see what I did there?!?

Still a nerd at heart. lol.

I am alive...sorta

Well it is safe to say i have lost my blogging mojo. I can remember when i used to blog almost daily - at a minimum a couple times a week! Not so much lately.

Lots going on since I last blogged...the holidays flew by in a whirlwind! I still can't believe Christmas is over and the Easter candy is already out at the stores - I am trying to make a conscious effort to s-l-o-w the F down and enjoy life more but damn...here we are on the eve of February and I find myself wondering where January went!

So a little catch up... I hurt my back a bit in early January. I was doing something extremely physical and demanding.... I was at yoga focusing on holding my scorpion pose oh so perfectly still.

Ha. No...I wish :(

In actuality, I was in my car and turned to look behind me. Because you know, turning around is physically fucking taxing. WTF?? How do you pull your back out TURNING around??

Anyway - I turned and felt the muscles in my middle back tighten up and it progressively got worse as the day went on. I was in excrutiating pain by the end of the day. It was the oddest sensation - every time i moved an arm or a leg or really anything...I could feel the muscles around my middle back tighten up around my spine like a boa constrictor. Weird analogy but, it is the only way I can accurately describe it. So weird and so painful.

It took a few weeks of taking it easy and self medicating with left over oxycontin i found in our hall closet. Classy, right? Yep lame i know but i did NOT want to drag myself to the doctor and hear some bad news. And I am stubborn as hell. Thankfully my pain has resolved and I am good to go. And I slept REALLY awesome on the oxycontin. I can see why people can get addicted to that stuff - kinda scary. I was a little relieved when I took the last one - that's all i need is to add oxycontin to my list of bad habits!

So - back pain is gone and I am ready to get serious about working out again and BOOM.... cold, which I thought was the flu, which I overmedicated on Mucinex, which apparently threw my heart for a curveball & long story short...ended up with a diagnosis of a-fib or atrial fibrillation  - basically my heart beats wildly and out of rhythm, blood does not properly leave my heart and thus increasing my chance for stroking out. Nice.

I had a procedure last week where they put me under anesthesia and shocked my heart back to normal. My cardiologist (omg i still can't believe i have a cardiologist - ugh) is very puzzled as I am "young" for this to randomly show up and otherwise very healthy - thank god. I follow up with him tomorrow to find out if my heart is still beating normally or, it I have digressed back into a-fib.

Honestly, it is hard for me to tell as I was basically asymptomatic before. I just thought I was tired. Or needed to get back in the gym. Or eating like shit. Or drinking all the wine. Or taking all the oxy.  Which yeah I am sure that was great for my heart now come to think of it. Or all of that, all at once.

Anyway - I will find out more tomorrow. Until them I am at a minimum on heart meds & blood thinners for the next 6 weeks to lower my chances of stroking out and.....have a nice burn mark on my chest from where they shocked me. It is kinda the shape of Georgia... which is really not the look I am going for here.

Looking at this picture now (taken day after my procedure) I can say it has improved. Thank you coconut oil.

And so.... going through this somewhat hellish/stressful January has made me realize I need to take really good care of myself and get right in my head and heart. See what i did there? And right in my skinny jeans. Time to refocus and get real. More on that to come..... and I promise I will try to blog again before three months fly by again :)

hello!

Hello! Wow... it has been a few months since I blogged last. Time has just flown by so very fast this year - I cannot believe it is almost Thanksgiving - crazy!

Let me do a quick recap... I had a knee injury and had to stop training for my half. Again. Boo. I am beginning to think this is just not going to happen for me. UGH. It was very frustrating and disappointing to make it to long runs of 8 miles - EIGHT MILES - and not be able to continue with my training. I entertained the idea of pushing through and just running through the pain. I even took a few weeks off and attempted to go for a "short" 6 mile run and... was in pain by the end of mile 2. Not good. Around this same time, a friend of mine had a stress fracture due to running and I just said - fuck it. I am not going to push myself into an injury that takes months to recover from or worse - cause permanent damage.

And so.... I dismantled my treadmill (it was almost dead at this point) and decided to buy an elliptical machine. Lower impact, something Chad and I can both use & not a treadmill. I much prefer running outdoors anyway so..... elliptical it is these days until I get the desire to get back to training.

I am really happy with the elliptical - we went with a Sole E35 - it it very quiet & a really good workout.  I've already decided to challenge myself in December - #30for30 - 30 minutes of cardio a day for 30 days. Sounds easier than it will be I am sure but - i like setting up mini goals.

Work has been consuming the past few months which has resulted in me being stressed to the max. My eyelid was twitching for two solid months. TWO SOLID MONTHS. Not sure if anyone else could really see it but as soon as i woke up I would start to feel this annoying twitch of my lower eyelid and it would go on and off all freaking day....for two months. So annoying. Thank god that has miraculously disappeared. I must have ate a million bananas as I kept hearing D-lo say "eat a banana - your body needs potassium!"

I have had several trips the past few months for fun - we just got back from visiting my parents in Texas - got to see them and also my sister and her BFF Kathy - was a fantastic weekend!

And i also had a fantastic impromptu girls weekend in Atlanta with my BFFs from high school - we attended a movie opening for an independent film The Dissection of Thanksgiving which is our friend from HS Troy Hall's film - he wrote, acted, produced, etc - it was such a great night! Loved the film & loved catching up with old high school friends - was just a fun filled weekend.

And now... Thanksgiving is almost here! Damn where has this year gone! Finally got my Halloween decorations down and have my Thanksgiving mantel up...will be time to get Christmas decor up here soon. This is my favorite time of year so - I am in an excellent mood lately :) Hoping this gets me back in the blogging mood - I have missed writing! Even if it is just to catalog life.

I hope to blog before Thanksgiving but if not.... Cheers & happy Turkey Day to everyone!

Updated Training Plan!

So wine life got in a the way a bit in my half training program! This weekend we took a trip to the lake with friends & I skipped my long run....and maybe my 5 miler on the Thursday before too. Whoops. Shit happens....what can i say :)

I decided to revise my training program a wee bit - and give myself a shorter run at the start of the week & to restart my long runs at 8 for this weekend. 8 is the last long run I had that I felt good about so want to get there again. So here is the revamp....

So few things about my revised plan....

1) "never miss a Monday"- Ummm yeah. A big "you go!" to all the pollyanna sunshines out there that can bounce out of bed on Monday mornings and get their run in. I just can't run/adult/deal in general on Mondays. So my run week will begin on Tuesdays.

2) "is it fall yet?!??"- I wish I could say running in the humidity has gotten SO much easier but - I would be lying. It sucks. The heat and humidity seem so awful this summer - I am sure it's the same as every other summer but daaaaammmmmnnnn it sucks. My breathing is so heavy, my legs feel like lead and within minutes of starting my run I am covered in sweat. I have been resorting to treadmill runs more than I would like but I've decided to not beat myself up over that and just be happy about the miles I am getting in. Period. Any my apologies to everyone I have bitched to about the weather and how ready I am for the basic bitch season aka hoodies, pumpkin spice lattes & boots.

3) "I will just hit snooze one....more....zzzzzzzzz" - Waking up early to run has been slipping. I tend to always wake up and just feel nauseated and weak. Not sure if it is due to dehydration or grogginess from too much sleep (I am typically in bed by 9:30 during the week and well usually on Friday nights too lol) or what it is. I think it goes back to my whole "not a morning person" thing. That being said - I do prefer running in the morning once I get going. It is more peaceful, less people/traffic and the feeling once I am done is so so SO amazing. I need to just get my ass out of bed and go. Now if only I can remember this at 5:30 am.

4) "Be kind to yourself" - One thing I have realized is how mental the long runs are for me. I need to be better about taking it easy on myself & being ok with walking some on my long runs. My goal is to cross the finish line - I am not going to set a time goal or a "run the whole thing" goal or anything like that. Just finish strong....and try to not cry like a crazy person while doing so.

And with that....I am off to bed so I can get up early and get my run on :)

Still going strong on the half training......

sorta. Last week was amazing from a running perspective - i got my 8 miles in!  Wow that is far! 8 miles...what?? and I didn't die. Or puke.  I was so proud of myself and felt really accomplished. This is the farthest I've run ever and I just felt so very proud, strong & accomplished - YAY ME!

Then we had company in town & drank all the booze and ate all the food. It was a fun weekend and I enjoyed every minute.... but when Monday rolled around I definitely felt like a slug. Oh and haaaeeeyyy humidity! The temps have been awful. The humidity and dew point each morning have been horrible and i've given myself permission to skip my morning run outside and run on the treadmill at night.

I can't shake the feeling that skipping my morning run and getting the miles in on the treadmill, in the AC, with a fan blowing on me is cheating. I do run on a slight incline but still....not the same as running outside. I have people tell me - hey 5 miles is 5 miles! But... I know better.

I also have realized what a mental game running is. I get so freaked out and feel so anxious when I think about my long runs. Holy fuck I have to run 9 miles this weekend? OMG how am I going to do that?!? And damn on Race Day I will still have to run 4 more after that! WTF am I doing?? Why didn't I sign up for the half in April when my long runs would be in much MUCH cooler temps - grrrrr!!!!!

Not sure why i let myself get so anxious and worked up - I am not setting out to accomplish a PR here - I just want to check this off my bucket list.  I am realizing that I am not very kind to myself and my inner girl voice has been a real bitch lately. I constantly remind myself to CFD and just keep running.

But then I remember how I feel when I finish a run - especially a new "farthest run ever!" run - and it makes me smile and makes my heart happy. SO.... today I have decided to skip my run - or maybe just do a short run - and treat myself to new running shoes. I think I am overdue and.... new shoes always make me happy :)

 I will do my 8 miles tomorrow - OUTSIDE - come hell or high water. And... start next week fresh with a renewed focus, a commitment to wake up early and just go.

Planning & Meal Prep

Today was all about planning - i have planned my workouts for this week....

I decided to keep Friday open for an optional rest day as I may be needing it after 4 workouts in a row but - I have had a LOT more energy lately so - will see how I feel on Friday.

Planning out my workouts like this will help me to be more accountable....at least that is the theory :) I am adding weights back in as I really do miss lifting and I know it will help with my running.

Sunday is our meal prep day in our house - it is so much easier & fun now that my husband is joining me on the meal prep. He is all about getting the portions correct & so he is all about the measuring and weighing everything on our digital scale. I tend to eyeball things on the portions.  This week I have my egg muffins for breakfast each morning & baked chicken/lemon quinoa/broccoli for  lunches. I can't stress  how much easier this makes the mornings (and days) flow in regards to getting out the door on time and healthy eats. If I don't plan then my day is very likely to go sideways aka cupcakes, eating out for lunch & a light afternoon snack of starburst/laffy taffy/skittles in the afternoon. Not so good.

Now today I did drink a glass of wine as we meal prepped. I was wondering if this was ironic or zen as I sipped my wine and steamed the broccoli. I decided to go with zen. Cheers.

This is so true. Wine is my go to answer for just about everything these days :) Happiness! Stressed? Irritated! Relaxing. Celebrating! There is a wine for every occasion....

Me being goofy as usual below :)

 Cheers to a successful, low stress, focused, productive week! :) Oh and see calendar above on Thursday...hair is really getting chopped this week!

7 Miles!

life has been crazy busy with work & out of town guests! But very happy & proud to report my half-training is going strong! I even got up last weekend early when we had house-guests and got my 6 mile long run in. And today - I ran 7 miles! This is the furthest distance I have run ever in my life.

I was exhausted but very proud of myself here :)

I had planned to run 5 miles this morning but when I woke up at 5am it was raining and lightening out so decided to go back to bed.  I was very happy I did this as our bed felt amazing and I got another hour or so of sleep :) But then i started working as soon as I woke up and one thing lead to another so - decided I would run 5 on the dreadmill. Ugh.

I really really REALLY do not like running on our treadmill as well, it's boring and I am not really much into watching shows or movies while I run. But decided the treadmill was a better option than the heat and humidity outside... think it was in the 90s with 90%ish humidity. This is awful to run in - so hard to breathe and you just feel like you are running through mud. Ugh!

Anyway - I was feeling great in miles 4 & 5 and decided I would push through and just do my long run today - 7 miles - when all of a sudden at 5 miles, my treadmill shut down. Boooooo. No good.

So I made a split decision to just run the final 2 outside. Not the best decision of the day as it was awful out and I am sure I looked like a crazy woman to anyone that I passed - I was sweating my ass off & cussing like a sailor as my legs were starting to cramp up. Sounds awesome, right?

BUT - I finished & once I got inside & my husband brought me some water and a chilled towel from the fridge....and OK maybe after I laid on the floor panting for like 20 minutes and cursing some more... well I felt amazing. Accomplished. Happy. Proud.

YAY ME!!!!

So now I am in bed again and cannot wait to crash. I know I will sleep soundly tonight. And I don't have to get up early for my long run - whooooo!!!! Only problem is I am starving right now after burning all those calories but.... too tired to get up and snack. Big breakfast tomorrow folks!

Cheers to 7 miles and a big breakfast :)